Sat
May
24
hi, i just felt like i needed to write another blog update.
today was really tiring, i woke up at 9, called dial a ride for 11, waited at the mall for an hour and half, watched 2 movies then came home at 7.
i went with 4, for the first time, it was pretty fun i guess. highlights were holding her hand during a scary trailer and hugging her goodbye, i dont really like her all that much, but i really need someone in my life to replace the hole 1 left me with. blah. 2 is still on vocation, dont know what shes gonna do about the austin situation when she gets back.
and heres the other thing. i fucking hate austins. 2 austins in particular, austin ho and austin luu, yeah, lets talk about austin ho first.
he is a fucking moron and an idiot. i dont even know why 1 likes him. and fucking 1, what a fucking slut. seriously, im not even gonna go more into it. it was so fucking long ago. fuck them two
and fuck austin luu, 2 is a really good girl, and hes being a total asshole to her, but 2 really is pushing the limits of the relationship by having.. uh. yeah.
but generally, fuck all relationships, how does anything expect me to have a optimistic outlook on new relationships after what happened with 1. theres no such thing as “love” especially at highschool. its retarded..
i got to go to sleep, movie again tomorrow.
blah..
Sat
May
17
well, i have alot on my mind, so i’m just going to say it.
today was so freaking awesome. mhmm. me and a couple friends had a party at a friend’s house. it was so fun. haha. but thats not whats on my mind right now. i miss amy, yeah, i really do. theres really no one that can replace what she left me with. at least not right now. and i mean.here is the really really weird thing.when in 8th grade, i had this girlfriend, then we broke up, i wasnt a big deal, i forgot about it in 2 days, and i was avoiding her the whole way. now i really really dont know if its the same thing for amy this time around. and thats not all, when i broke up with my first girlfriend, i started to interact more with girls, not trying to get another girlfriend,and then some time passed and i stopped and i entered highschool and yeah, i admit, i didnt have ANY girl-friends. then i met 1, and after all this stuff was over, i again started to interact with girls more. dont know why, maybe theres just this void that im trying to fill, but its not really working. and i mean, now that i think about it, the times i spend with 1 was the best times i ever had, everytime i remember the things we did and the time we spent together theres just this rush of emotions that i cant keep down. i dont really know how to say it, but yeah, i really miss her.
oh and yes. lakers got into western finals, go lakers baby
Tue
May
13
nothing really changed, everything is going well. i still like nancy alot, wish i had a class with her. hmm. and theres a test on wednesday for alg2 and ap us history and i am NOT at all prepared for it.. *sigh. but i have a A in art. thats good. yep.
thats all. todays the 12th. (i think) tuesday.
Fri
May
9
“ absence makes the heart grow fonder
this is just a thing to keep me say the things i want to say the most.
theres 4 girls that i think about the most recently
and just for the sake of privacy, im naming them
1,2,3, and 4
and the percentage of time i think about them is kind of like
1: 70% of the time
2: 15% of the time
3: 8% of the time
4: 7% of the time
anyways, despite of everything that has happened, i still miss 1 , i still dont know how to let go. hmm. and 2, i dont know, shes really hyper… but yeah. i mean, there must be something if we can talk from 11pm to 5am.. but things are pretty complicated, she has a boyfriend and kinda has something else that i cant say, but yeah, i’m trying to make this a very clean friendship, and hopefully, it will. and lastly. 3, i just met her recently.and i mean. its just a total crush, i love the way she laughs, the way she talks, although i havent been talking to her a whole lot, but, like someone in my chem class said: ” you dont have to really know a person to for you to like them, sometimes its easier just to go with your feelings” thats thats exactly what i’m doing. i hope i have a class with her next year..
anyway, what i did today was play/watch basketball with friends, and went to carls to eat, and went to the movies after that.
this is friday, may 9th
